I Hate the French (lyrics)

Extracts from “I Hate the French”, a satirical comedy song written by Richard Curtis and performed by Howard Goodall, live during Rowan Atkinson’s 1980 UK tour.

They all wear berets and they’re all called “Jacques”,
They even steal from us the words they lack:
“le Weekend”, “le Camping” and “Cul-de-sac”,
That’s why I hate the French…

They bake their bread in such a naughty shape,
They brag about their wine, and worship the grape,
They criticise our food but then they eat “Crêpe”!
That’s why I hate the French…

And now they’ve started coming here in droves,
“French cigarettes”, “French letters”, and “French clothes”.

I’m sick and tired of eating all this “Brie”,
And I’ll be buggered if I go to “Gay Paris”!

They’re pretty cocky ’bout their “games in the dark”,
They think with girls they light a “special spark”,
But look what the bastards did to Joan of Arc!
That’s why I hate the French…

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